Layne Staley is dead… The front man for Alice In Chains is gone from this earth, and I’m not sure how I should feel about it. A lot of memories fill my mind tonight.

I first started listening to Alice In Chains with the Album "Facelift" just before I moved to Missoula Montana for a year. I moved there to live with my Mom & little Brother while I finished High school. In Seattle, I was failing classes purely out of boredom. I was spending most of my time in the art room, and the only time I actually took a test is when they would drag me out of the art room to take one (and usually getting more than a passing grade on them, if not Acing it outright). I had the capacity, just not the will.

I hated class. I hated homework. I hated teachers. Nearly every subject was simply something I was not interested in. Every single English class, if you could call it that, was basically rehashing stuff they tried cramming down our collective thoughts since Jr. High. I had had enough, and just didn’t want to deal with it. So I did what I liked, I sketched and painted and did whatever in the Art room. I needed out. Missoula didn’t look like such a bad idea.

Missoula was different. I was actually allowed to take interesting classes, like Sci-Fi Literature and Shakespearian Literature. And I could take art classes other than drawing or drafting — Sculpture is my friend (thank you Ms. Fizzute and Ms. Mino)!

Shortly after I moved to Missoula, the movie "Singles" came out in theaters. It’s kind of ironic that I would move away from my hometown, only to pine after it by watching a silly movie that takes place in it three times in a theater. I also listened to a lot of music that was starting to be called Grunge — simply because it had a similar sound, and largely all came from the Pacific Northwest. I still laugh at that. Yes, I listened to a lot of Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, but just not Mudhoney (I never liked them — can’t explain why). It was the tail end of my Rock/Metal music faze.

And I missed my friends…

I made very few friends in Missoula, but the few I made were nearly all interested in one thing: D&D, as well as a few illicit substances that typically came out of the colledge chemistry department! I played D&D at a little shop called The Dragon’s Den. Unfortunatly, I can no longer recall any of the names of the people I met there. I wonder why? I remember faces, but not the names. I bet I would recognize every one of them if I saw them in person. I hope they remember me.

I had one friend in Missoula who I will never forget. His name is Ian Candido (Ian, if you ever read this, email me). I met him in my painting class at Hellgate High school (I officially graduated from there, but I never did feel like I belonged). He had this style of sketch art that comprised of melding parts of bodies in a kind of quasi-expressionistic-post-modern… You really would have to see it. I am happy that I kept the sketchpad that he graced an example of his work in.

I met Jerry Cantrel after the Alice In Chains show in Missoula. Dirt had just come out, and Ian & I were going to try to sneak into the show from a back door. It didn’t work and I couldn’t find Ian that night, but I managed to buy a ticket from someone at the front door for saved lunch money for the week – a glorious $5 well spent. I was wearing a cheesy T-shirt that said "Don’t Bother Me" and Jerry signed it "That’s Fucking Right!" I felt like an idiot when I asked him where they were from, because I already knew. I remember replying after that with something to the effect of "No, what parts of Seattle? Burien, Kent, Ballard…" Maybe a couple other neighborhoods, but I felt vindicated at the time. It was an odd moment.

The weirdest part of that night was when Jerry asked if anyone liked fish. Myself and a couple people back stage looked at each other, I didn’t know any of them, and then a cooler came out of the back with a couple lake trout (I think). He said they were all going over to someone in Pearl Jam’s house (I can’t remember who) there in town to party, and have some fish. I declined, as did most of them. I actually got a ride home from someone associated with the band. I don’t remember who it was, or what there function was. A very strange night it was.

After I graduated, I moved back to Seattle. I had just discovered Nine Inch Nails, and was exploring Siuxie Suix, The Cure, and digging up everything I could on Dead Can Dance. Over all my musical tastes were shifting, but I still listened to Alice In Chains. By that time Jar of Flies had just come out, and I was religiously listening to the song "I Stay Away" over and over on my Discman. It was basically how I felt nearly all of the time at that point in my life. Nirvana was really hot then, but I only liked Tori Amos’ rendition of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Now I like to call the stuff I listened to back then “Pure Depression”, like a parody of those "Pure Moods" compilation albums.

It’s odd how things can come full circle some times. I just encoded the Godsmack — Awake CD to MP3 for my iPod. I was noticing how much Sully in Godsmack sounds like Layne in Alice in Chains. I had just purchased that Godsmack CD two days ago.

"Bury Me Softly In This Womb
I Give This Part Of Me For You
Sand Rains Down And Here I Sit
Holding Rare Flowers
In A Tomb… In Bloom"
– Down In A Hole